stealing the pears

The most fascinating part of Confessions for me is when St. Augustine talks about the incident where he steals the pears with his friends. He goes into this whole thing about how people do things for the sake of the sinful act itself. He admits that he wasn’t stealing because he was lacking in some way but because of a “greedy love of doing wrong”. Augustine goes on to say, “For no sooner had I picked them than I drew them away, and tasted nothing in them but my own sin, which I relished and enjoyed. If any part of one of those pears passed my lips, it was the sin that gave it flavor. I really liked the way he wrote this and it almost sums up why he committed this crime. He’s giving this completely raw insight into his life and really into human nature because this love of sin is universal. Another interesting point to this is when he talks about how he would never had done this if he were alone. This communal act of sinning I found very intriguing, earlier in Book II he says “…I used to pretend that I had done things I had not done at all, because I was afraid that innocence would be taken for cowardice and chastity for weakness.” Here you can see where the act of sinning is intertwined with some sort of companionship. I won’t pretend like I know exactly why this occurs but I have to say I’ve seen it enough to know it’s true. In 5^th grade me and my friend took a sharpie and drew inside of the school slide at recess, I know this is really stupid but why did we do it? Because we weren’t supposed to and I guarantee neither of us would have done it if we weren’t together enjoying the pure act of doing something wrong.

Babies are Evil, Despicable Creatures

I'm assuming I have your attention now, given the title. I'd like to bring your attention all they way back to book 1. (Yes, I'm starting there.) In Chapter VII, Augustine says something along the lines of this:

But if “I was conceived in iniquity, and in sin my mother nourished me in her womb,” where, I pray thee, O my God, where, O Lord, or when was I, thy servant, ever innocent? But see now, I pass over that period, for what have I to do with a time from which I can recall no memories? 

 It reminds me of a particular subject we protestants like to call "The age of understanding" It's probably one of the most debated topics in modern Christianity, next to homosexuality. (which the Bible is very clear on, ironically) How can a human infant, which is an inherently sinful creature, go to hell? Well, it's simple, it does. There really is no other conclusion that I can draw from that, given the information. However, I would love to debate it with someone in the comment section.

~~Cody Martin~~

PS. I commented on Josh Goldman's post:  "Video Games Do Not Promote Violence, Lag Does."

Define a Saint

I am so fascinated by these confessions. I am amazed because this man struggled for half of his life with doubts and sins that I can't even begin to fathom, yet he is considered a saint. I find it very interesting that we define him this way--because we normally think of saints possessing this unattainable level of holiness. But in Augustine the reader sees him struggle with everything under the sun. It comforts me, not because I feel better for being a bad person, but because it is such an affirmation of God's grace. Augustine states in book 7, section 17,
'I was caught up to you by your beauty and quickly torn away by my weight. With a groan i crashed into inferior things. This weight was my sexual habit. But with me there remained a memory of you. I was in no kind of doubt to whom I should attach myself, but was not yet in a state to be able to do that.'
Interestingly enough to me as well, as Brekke said in class, it was the physical issues that hindered him, not philosophical issues. Ultimately it is a desire of the flesh that keeps us from accepting God, not the idea of his salvation.

Good is Only Good in God

So the copy of Confessions that I have is a different translation than anyone in the class has so you'll have to bear with me with quotes and chapter numbers. However, when I was reading the section titled in my book as Other Friends, relatively near the middle of book four, something struck me when he spoke of material things. The section started off with him explaining that what we ought to love in material things is their maker, not the thing itself.

"But hard it will be, for good reason, if you love things derived from him as deprived of him."

This statement was very interesting to me in how it brought us back to the fact that God is the only absolute good, and the source of all other good in creation. Even when we see people who are incredibly passionate about God and live their lives in light of that, we tend to view them in awe when it is solely because of God working in them that we see good come from them. This is something that proves very relevant to us in many different situations. Even in marriage, for example, so many people today approach what was intended to be a lifelong commitment to another person without the one crucial component that makes that possible, God.

P.S. I commented on Hannah Burch's "Having Faith"

Human emotion drawn to Grace

I think I have underlined more in this book than in any other that we've read in Honors.  Augustine's language just captures human emotion, and all of the thoughts on the greatness of God.  His story is so incredible, as it is the chronicle of a complete turn around of a life.  Augustine not only shows how unfathomable God is, he demonstrates the intricacies of the human soul.  I think one of my favorite quotes so far has to be "Man is a great mystery, Lord. You even keep count of the hairs on his head, and not one of them escapes Your reckoning.  Yet his hairs are more easily counted than his feelings and the emotions of his heart. (pg. 84)"  Man is truly complex, especially in his relationship with the Lord.  Augustine's autobiography chronicles his path to redemption, and perhaps clarifies somewhat the emotions of the heart of a man drawn by sin, then by philosophy, who eventually reaches the grace of God.

P.S., commented on Jamie's "The Greatness of God."

Searching with Augustine

Commented on Preston's.

"Wherefore delay then to abandon worldly hopes, and give ourselves wholly to seek After God and the blessed life?"

In book six, he encourages his reader not give up the search for truth or take for granted the access we have to His Word. "Perish every thing, dismiss we these empty vanities, and turn ourselves to the one search for truth! Life is vain, death uncertain; if it steals upon us suddenly, in what state shall we depart this world?" Here Augustine is saying that in order for us to truly seek God we have to devote our lives to wanting to know who God is. Not that we may ever fully understand Him, but that we may know as much as humanly possible through Scripture and His creation. As long as our search is guided by God and not for our own selfish gain will we receive wisdom. Augustine's love for philosophy was the seed that ultimately led him to God (if I may be so bold).  As he dug deeper and deeper into Cicero's writings, he realized that what he had come to believe- such as  the teachings of the Manichees- was not completely true and that Christianity had it right all along. The Church, the very institute he spent most of his life resisting, held the key to the Truth he sought. From that point on, his search consisted of pursuing God in an attempt to understand the vastness of His grace, love, and mercy. This is why Augustine tells us not to despair when the search seems endless because ultimately it will lead us to what our soul innately hungers for, the cross, whether we realize it or not. The problem is that because we are human and therefore corrupted, we have to be careful with how and what we philosophize. Philosophy, just like anything else in this world, can be distorted and draw us away from God instead of towards Him if we have the wrong motives or don't allow Him to steer our studies in the right direction.

The Greatness of God

I love Augustine, and there are so many things that I could blog about tonight.  The one that really sticks out to me, though, and really moves me throughout this work is the sheer greatness of God.

There is one point in Book II where Augustine lists traits, followed by how God over comes.  This particular passage really spoke to me because I can look back and see how God has shown His greatness over those particular things in my life.  Where I have sought my own glory, God has reveled himself to be "exalted over all."  Where I have been lazy, God has been the place of TRUE rest.  Where I have been curious, thought myself to be a lover of knowledge, God has been the source of truth!  I miss it so often, and I lack so much, but God is greater!

-Jamie Kilpatrick

P.S. Commented on Mallory's post.

Video Games Do Not Promote Violence, Lag Does.

I thought long and hard about what to write my blog on this week. I'm eating up Augustine. I debated tackling theodicy, but it seems that was a favorite of in-class discussion and is already being talked enough of  tonight. I wrote down about half a page on the nature of sin and how sin is only a perverted painting of God's perfect image. However, I could not get to a point. Finally, after much deliberation, I settled for something we seemed to skim right over in class discussion. However, I think it is worth bringing up. Augustine writes in the fifth chapter of his first book, "What indeed am I to you, that you should command me to love you, and grow angry if I do not, and threaten me with enormous woes? Is not the failure to love you woe enough in itself?" That concept astounds me! The failure to love God would be living a life driven by selfish ambition. Without loving God, one would basically reject morality. The reason this is justified is although people do believe they can be moral without God, their foundations of morality would likely still follow Biblical principles or model someone who follows those principles. Without Divine guidance, the foundations the world has been built upon would be stripped away. This quote seems to point towards a essentially harmless punishment in Hell where the only real consequence is separation from God. Is not the thought of missing paradise with the creator of the universe punishment enough without having to bear the pain of fire and brimstone? Not to spoil the book for anyone, but Dante's Inferno contains a good example of this type of sinner. The first circle of  Hell is called Limbo. These souls did not succumb to the other sins, but their only fault was that they never accepted God. Dante writes in his fourth canto: 

and thus he made me enter

The foremost circle that surrounds the abyss.

There, as it seemed to me from listening,

Were lamentations none, but only sighs,

That tremble made the everlasting air.

And this arose from sorrow without torment,

Which the crowds had, that many were and great,

Of infants and of women and of men.

To me the Master good: "Thou dost not ask

What spirits these, which thou beholdest, are?

Now will I have thee know, ere thou go farther,

That they sinned not; and if they merit had,

'Tis not enough, because they had not baptism

Which is the portal of the Faith thou holdest. 

The only reason for the people in the first circle to be in Hell is because they never knew God and because of that were not baptized. Because of their ignorance, they do not suffer anything accept the thoughts of what might have been.

P.S. I commented on Tyler's "The Desire To Know".

         

Questions

It is very exciting for me to revisit Augustine's Confessions. As a Theology major, this Saint has been called nothing short of extraordinary. There is nothing greater than a Christian who bases his/her relationship with God through the crying out for the presence of their creator. It is desirable for me recognize the influence he had made, both to the theological era of his time and the historical significance of those who influenced him (manichees, sophist, etc). However, it is more beneficial for me to understand the absolute meaning Augustine laid out throughout this work, being grace. For anyone to recount at their best ability one's entire life, and detail of their sin before an omnipotent God truly has a firm relationship. Augustine will forever be one of my favorites.

However there are so many things that still prick my thoughts when reading this work. For instance, God's presence and the way He extends it has always baffled me, whether it is the question of it's possibility in Hell (compliments to Doug Mitchell), or in the world that we live in. In Book VII Chapter 1 Augustine states,

 "So I thought of you too, O Life of my life, as a great being with dimensions extending everywhere, throughout infinite space, permeating the whole mass of the world and reaching in all directions beyond it without limit, so that the earth and the sky and all creation were full of you and their limits were within you, while you had no limits at all."

Though this quote is particularly about God's presence influencing the natural elements of the world, this provoked me to think about the way God reveals himself to man, and the boundaries of which he chooses to stretch. It is easy to see where I am getting at, what of the man on the island, who's never heard of Jesus? Does God reveal himself through "unseen forces" and therefore brings salvation to the spiritual savage in abstract ways. Though it is a theory that Augustine believes false in his context, I've always wondered if God desires for us to embrace the mystery of the Holy Spirit. Does God receive glory in our questions for the  people without a preacher. Is this part of the Christian's Sanctification.

P.S. Those are my Initials. I also commented on Rebekah Dye's And we're off.

Root of evil

While reading Augustine I begin to question whether or not my wills and desires are evil if they are not completely for the good of other people. In class, everyone was auguring that evil is not a tangible thing, but the absence of good. I don't think I completely agree with that. When I think about some of the so called evils that people do I can't help but think that my desires are not nearly as bad as what society sees as evil. But Augustine talks about anything that is not the will of god or for the greater good is evil. But that everything God creates is good so the way he explains it it makes sense that evil is the absence of good, but I see evil as more of something learned and observed rather than the absence of something. I am not sure what I truly believe but it is something I have been pondering. It is also something I feel that I will investigate and study more. Ps I commented on Hannah burch's blog having faith

No one can hide from God's creation

Something that stuck out to me in class was that Augustine points out that even the perverse people that walk away and try to hide from God turn to basically worship him indirectly. By this i mean, people that have gone in the agnostic way look to possess a house with a view or a hot girl, but didn't God create both? I haven't had the closest relationship with God but it is hard for someone to deny that there is not a higher being that created earth from the tallest mountain to the smallest atom. It all somehow works and that is what people want to believe to stay away from God but yet they appreciate fine art created by artist's mind who in turn where created by the ultimate Creator.


I commented on Becca's "selfless love"

Guidance from God

"Your goad was thrusting at my heart, giving me no peace until the eye of my soul could discern you without mistake. Under the secret touch of your healing hand my swelling pride subsided, and day by day the pain I suffered brought me health, like an ointment which stung but cleared the confusion and darkness from the eye of my mind" (Book VII, 8).

One thing I love about this book is Augustine's repeated belief that God was moving and working in his life. He knew God was drawing him closer to His own self, using Platonist works, job offers, and good Christian friends to lead Augustine to the truth. Augustine also recognized that God was wearing away the pride and selfishness that kept him from seeing who God was. In fact, I think Augustine would argue that without God guiding him, he could not have been saved. As he reasoned through the principles of the faith, Augustine reached a point where he needed revelation from God.

I loved Jannah's post comparing Augustine's search for truth with our own. I think I would add that God uses things in our lives to lead us to Him. We need His guidance if we hope to find His truth, His goodness, and His love. We could try to find it with our own logic and philosophy, but we need God to reveal Himself to us.

P.S. I commented on Amanda Gaster's post.

Having Faith

Through Augustine's thoughts and ideas, I have begun to think more deeply on things relating to my faith. Although Augustine was intelligent, he raised questions similar to ones that we as young people of Christ still ask today. One thing that stood out to me and made me think was his question about how we can seek God without actually knowing who he is. I've never thought of it this way. I was raised to just believe in God and have faith. I never questioned it. I know that the Lord is real and all-knowing, but Augustine asked a very simple, yet complex question. God is omnipotent. He is everywhere! We touched on this a little bit in class. It was interesting to hear other peoples thoughts on this and things related to this. Honors is definitley different than any other English class that I have had. I think that I'll even learn about myself just by being involved in this class.

I commented on Becca Sales' "Selfless Love."

Selfless Love

Augustine’s Confessions is unlike any book to which I have been exposed.  I love the way Saint Augustine walks his readers through his life before and after his conversion and the process of his conversion. Much of what he talks about has gone through my mind also. Lately, selfishness has been a topic of concern on my mind. In Book II, Augustine talks about the love that he had for a woman. “It went beyond affection of one mind for another, beyond the arc of the bright beam of friendship. Bodily desire, like a morass, and adolescent sex welling up within me exuded mists which clouded over and obscured my heart.” As humans, we struggle with the desires of fleshly love. This, however, is not a love for one another but instead is a love for self. For love to become selfless and Christ like, one must disregard all selfish tendencies.

I commented on Rebekah Dye’s “And We’re Off…”

Never Lost to God

 While reading Augustine's Confessions there was a quote in Book I chapter 4 that just completely stopped me in my tracks. He was referring to God and he said, "You welcome all who come to you, though you never lost them." Growing up in church I always understood that people who did not know God were lost. They were searching for answers and a life that would hold no meaning without God. However, I never stopped to think of how God viewed the lost. Augustine's words made me realize that no person in God's eyes is ever truly lost because God is all-knowing. God knows everything about every person on this earth, but when we make the decision to get to know God and come to Him to be saved He still welcomes every single person with grace,love and forgiveness. It is beautiful to know that while I was lost and did not know God that He never lost me. Throughout this autobiography Augustine's comprehension of our incomprehensible God is astounding and it is evident within the first few pages!
"You, my God, are supreme, utmost in goodness,  mightiest and all-powerful, most merciful and most just. You are the most hidden from us and yet the most present amongst us, the most beautiful and yet the most strong, never enduring and yet we cannot comprehend you." Book I:4


P.S. I commented on Mallory's "Until we find our rest in thee."

Augustine as a Pre-honors Student

      I find Augustine story encouraging. It is nice to know that people long ago struggle with the same questions we face today, and that through the search for Truth, we find the only answer is Christ.  

    Augustine's tale is also one that I think all honor students can relate too. For instance, Augustine started his quest for truth at age nineteen. Nineteen is about the age of every student in honors, we too are embarking on a quest for truth.  He read many scholarly and philosophical works, just as we have and are doing.  He did not ask vague questions nor did he receive vague answers.  This is something we all encouraged and instructed to do in Honors. Although, it took him several years to actually come to faith, his quest lead him to the source of all Truth.  Overall, he found that he was a sinful man in need of a righteous savior, Christ Jesus.  Fleshly and academic pursuits could not fill his need, his gap.  The gap created by sin, which Jesus' blood covers. Then in tears he surrendered his life to his Lord, as he finally understood God's grace and mercy.  For my own life, I know that Honors has helped countless times in turning my quest for truth back to my Savior.  Most importantly though, I know, like Augustine I've been forgiven and I am free.

P.S. commented on Rebekah Dye's "And we're off"

The Desire to Know

Reading Augustine's Confessions is like taking a walk down memory lane for me.  I spent a long time being extremely confused about the same things that he discusses in his writings.  These "unanswered questions" acted as stumbling blocks, limiting me from seeing the power and truth of Scripture.  I was raised in a Southern Baptist church that taught sound doctrine directly from the Bible, but many questions fell into the typical "gray area" that churches tend to avoid.  Reading about Augustine's inner battles of Good vs. Evil and Spirit vs. Flesh offers a new perspective of the situation for me.  I spent so much time desiring to understand everything I could about what I claimed to believe, but a lot of aspects only confused me just as they did Augustine.  Ultimately, faith was the secret answer to most of my questions.  Faith allowed me to trust God and view the world through a different pair of lenses than before.  There was an instance very similar to Augustine's singing voice during his moment of conversion, and although there was not an actual voice, my faith in God was awakened and I realized that trusting Him was the only way I could ever put a cease to my confusion.  A lot of the answers became much more apparent to me through the reading of Scripture, but many still exist because some secrets simply belong to God.  The desire to know everything about a limitless God still exists, as does Augustine's deep desire to understand Him, but I no longer question my faith because it only makes me seek after Him even more than before.

I commented on Amanda's "Compassion vs. Pity"

And we're off...

Honors, round two. Here we go! I have greatly enjoyed Honors already!
Confessions has brought a lot of enlightenment to me. Even in the short amount of time we've been into it. I love how St. Augustine walks us through his life ad his struggles, pre-conversion, in such a real way. He presents struggles that we face everyday, in such a clear way.
Confessions is unlike most books I've ever read and I look forward to finishing it, and continuing this semesters readings! :)

P.s. I commented on Mallory's "Until we find our rest in Thee"

Theodicy and the Hell of Error

Augustine was no stranger to theodicy. He struggled with it honestly and intensely. After his conversion to the catholic church, he inquired as to the origin of sin. God himself is the Creator, the source of all things; does that mean he is the author of evil? If God created everything good, then why does man sin? If man sins because he was tempted by the devil, then why wasn't the devil good? If the devil was at first good but had a corruptible will, did God know it was corruptible? If not, is he still God? If so, is he still good?

These thoughts swept me back again into the gulf where I was being stifled. But I did not so far sink as far as that hell of error where no one confesses to you his own guilt, choosing to believe that you suffer evil rather than that man does it. (1)

It is good to ask questions, but when answers do not suffice, it is better to simply believe the truth we know is true rather than succumb to error through rationalism. God is good; God is just; God is all-knowing and sovereign over all things--this we know from the apostles' teaching. Men and devils sin of their own corruptible wills, yet God who created them is not to blame for their evil acts. The blame is theirs. I'm reminded of that great Victorian preacher Charles Spurgeon.

Some seem to believe in a kind of free agency which virtually dethrones God, while others run to the opposite extreme by believing in a sort of fatalism which practically exonerates man from all blame. Both of these views are utterly false and I scarcely know which of the two is the more to be deprecated. (2)

Spurgeon was a Calvinist's Calvinist who firmly believed each man sins of his own volition, that each man's sin was his own and he was responsible for it. He and Augustine would agree: neither sado-theism nor open theism will do. God is good, God is sovereign and man is responsible for his sin. Scripture recognizes no inconsistency between them; therefore we should be careful lest we ourselves walk off the cliff of God's Word into the hell of error.

(1) Augustine's Confessions, VII.3
(2) C.H. Spurgeon, "The Way of Wisdom"

EDIT: Commented on Mallory Searcy's "Until We Find Our Rest in Thee."

compassion vs. pity

So good! Augustine's Confessions is making my pink pen come dangerously close to running out of ink because of how much I have underlined! This guy truly understands the grace of God, in a way that many of us who were raised in church have a hard time appreciating. I just finished the end of Chapter 8 and his conversion reminded me of the story in Luke 7 of the sinful woman who washed Jesus' feet. Because she had greater (sin) debt than the disciples sitting at the table with Jesus, she was more free in expressing her love and Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, her sins are forgiven- for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little loves little" (v. 47). Oh that I may never forget for how much God has forgiven me!
But I digress... I meant to write my blog on the compassion/pity topic we touched on in class yesterday. It's funny how God works, because the night before I spent a significant amount of time looking up the Greek for compassion and pity as they are applied in the Gospels, because they are not interchangeable as something I read suggested. I won't bore you with the extensive notes I took, but I found that σπλαγχνίζομαι (splagchnizomai)- means "to be moved as to one's bowels, hence to be moved with compassion, have compassion (for the bowels were thought to be the seat of love and pity)." Love AND pity= compassion. This means that compassion requires action, because love, as shown in the Bible, is not a feeling so much as it is an action. Pity, as shown by the Greek oiktirmos refers more to the emotions. Back to Augustine, while watching tragic plays that arouse the emotion of pity, one is able to detach the self from the action unfolding onstage. They feel for the actors but there is distance of the mind and heart telling them that it is not real and there is no need to become involved. Then, when confronted with a tragic situation in real life, many who have become accustomed to pity automatically detach themselves from the situation and stifle any thought of compassion. Contrary to this, those with compassion see the need and feel pity but also move to help the person out of love...and this is how we become the hands and feet of Jesus. He was never detached and distant from those who needed Him. He saw interruptions of His day and tragic circumstances as an opportunity to show compassion and act in love by meeting their needs. Pity requires nothing of you, whereas sometimes compassion requires all of you. But isn't that just like Jesus? :)
commented on Emily's "it's a gift..."

Until we find our rest in thee.

I'm not going to lie, I'm more than partial to this book. The first time I read this I was 14 and I consider that reading to be my conversion. Before St. Augustine I never understood sin and forgiveness, I never understood the glorious, absolving blood of Christ. I think its dangerous in honors (and in all classes) to 'murder to dissect".* In other words, we take apart the words to find their flaws or trace their argument, instead of receiving the truth they have for us.
Our hearts are restless till we find our rest in thee.
Words like that are beautiful, powerful, bold and true. I don't ever want to focus too much on analyzing the theology and miss the beauty of the truth. That St. Augustine once was lost, but now is found and redeemed in the arms of Christ. And to be redeemed and found means to have ultimate joy in the midst of suffering.





*stolen directly from Wordsworth and a conversation in Brit Lit

I commented on Skylar Michelle's blog

It's a gift...

As I was reading Augustine's Confessions, a paticular passage in Book V:4 stuck out to me, "A man who knows that he owns a tree and thanks you for the use he has of it, even though he does not know its exact height or the width of its spread, is better than another who measures it and counts all its branches, but neither owns it nor knows and loves its Creator." We've all heard this before, but all the talents and brainpower we have aren't really ours to begin with but are gifts God has given us. No matter how great we think we are, at the end of the day, none of what we've done or have would be possible without God. We are nothing without him. Also, the passage made me think about people who don't know what talents they have or what their purpose is. Augustine is saying that you should be grateful for your life and all that you have even when you don't know what all that entails. j The last part of the passage about the person who's not grateful for the tree, doesn't even own it, and has no love for the tree's creator confused me a bit but I gathered that this talks about people who think that they deserve honor for their talents and strengths even though they had no control over how God made them. (P.S. Commented on Mallory's)