I am so fascinated by these confessions. I am amazed because this man struggled for half of his life with doubts and sins that I can't even begin to fathom, yet he is considered a saint. I find it very interesting that we define him this way--because we normally think of saints possessing this unattainable level of holiness. But in Augustine the reader sees him struggle with everything under the sun. It comforts me, not because I feel better for being a bad person, but because it is such an affirmation of God's grace. Augustine states in book 7, section 17,
'I was caught up to you by your beauty and quickly torn away by my weight. With a groan i crashed into inferior things. This weight was my sexual habit. But with me there remained a memory of you. I was in no kind of doubt to whom I should attach myself, but was not yet in a state to be able to do that.'
Interestingly enough to me as well, as Brekke said in class, it was the physical issues that hindered him, not philosophical issues. Ultimately it is a desire of the flesh that keeps us from accepting God, not the idea of his salvation.
I was in awe of his sainthood as well. For me Augustine becomes the ideal example of achieving holiness without this perception of perfection. It wasn't because he was "holier than thou", so to speak, that made him great it was his ability to recognize himself a sinner and submit to God.
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